Monthly Archives: February 2014

Cheer The Fuck Up

Can a Spurs fan actually effect anything that happens at the club? No.

What is exactly constant negativity going to gain? Where’s the fun in thinking that we’ll have to liquidate the club in morning? What are you going to gain from constant negativity? Nothing. What are you going to gain from constant positivity? Nothing.

All the constant negativity achieves is that it makes everyone so fucking miserable. That’s all. I choose positivity over negativity. Normally, you’d expect that most people would be the same but then you remember that they love giving themselves self-righteous hard-ons.

I’m not calling for blind optimism that everything will come good or for blind faith in the club. I’m just calling for giving the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming this season will be a train-wreck, assume that we’ll achieve our goals.

It’s not going to make a blind bit of difference either way, so I choose to be positive. You should do the same.

This isn’t a cold, coherent analysis of what we’re doing wrong. This is me imploring the Spurs fanbase to stop choosing to be so fucking negative. Why is it that we’re not allowed have nice things? Because we would prefer to not have nice  things.

When we have nice things in front of us, we prefer to focus  on all the negativity. After Hull, we didn’t focus on the fact that Paulinho and Vertonghen back or the fact that Hull beat Liverpool, our main competitor for top four at the KC, or that we’re only 3 points off fourth place or that we got a point in a game where we had our balls handed to us numerous times

This isn’t a cold, coherent analysis of what we’re doing wrong. This is me imploring Spurs fans to stop choosing to be so fucking negative. Why is it that we’re not allowed have nice things? Because Spurs fans would prefer to not have nice things. 

We’re going to get Top Four:

Why? Because I said so.

United. Just forget about them.

Liverpool. Their defense. Against West Brom, it was Kolo Touré & Martin Skrtel in the centre and Aly Cissokho and John Flanagan out wide. Steven Gerrard has to roam the pitch on a zimmer-frame and Jordan Henderson’s running style is weird.

Everton. They are without Lukaku and will now have to start Lacina Traoré. He’s just awful. He’s played 453 minutes of football this season. He hasn’t assisted or scored a goal since July. That is 6 and a half months. You watch us beat them this Sunday.

Tottenham. We have been without the best footballer under 21 last season for a month. We have been without the best defensive midfielder in the Premier League since the beginning of time. Vertonghen and Kaboul are still to come back. Throw in Kyle Walker, Danny Rose, Paulinho and Christian Eriksen. And then remember that you forgot the world class keeper you have. That’s one bloody good team. Oh and a motivated Adebayor. We have a manager who selected his line-ups based upon the opponent. I cannot stress in words how important this will prove.

To put this in no uncertain terms, what I have written is not explicit of my cold, unbiased opinion. It is just what I choose to believe.

Why? Because it’s more fun than believing Paulinho is the Brazilian Jenas or Adebayor is a mercenary or Walker has the brain size of a tadpole.

We’re going to win the Europa League

Let’s not forget that we have a brilliant chance of winning a trophy this season. We’re playing a team that I only know about because two psychopathic murderers were from the same town. Why can’t we beat them?

ScreenHunter_50 Feb. 02 18.14

Who do we fear here? Juventus obviously,  but don’t even know if they will be in the mix. And this season Juventus have been absolutely atrocious in Europe.

There will be no mass exodus

This one is just irrational. Players leave after playing well. You never see a player moving up after a bad season.

If the players play well or even close to what they are capable of, we’ll achieve top four and/or win the Europa League. Nobody will want to leave.

If the players don’t play well, there will be no suitors for them. Teams that are considered above us in terms of quality will go for good players not mediocre players.. Just because they can. Nobody will be able to leave.

The only reason someone would think that there will be a mass exodus from Spurs is they’re hysteric, which as a fanbase, we’re very much adept at being.

I don’t know if we’ll win the Europa League or get Top Four or if there’ll be a mass exodus. Either do you. Nobody does. I just choose to be positive about them because it’s more enjoyable.

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